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DIRTY PLATES AND GOLF BALLS

02 Nov

BORN LOOSER

 

1.    My wife doesn’t give me money any more, said a friend of my friend. She accuses me of being wasteful. She says, 10 years ago you bought that fire extinguisher, did you ever use it?

 

2.    My wife is very good at eaves dropping. I was talking to myself one day, “One of my golf balls went in the water, one headed to the bush, another went in the sand, one I could not see where it went,…..”. She was listening, “As I told you several times, you should take up tennis”, she quipped. I was annoyed at being disturbed and shouted, “You know I can’t play tennis.”

 

3.    I arrived at the office late as usual and met the Boss at the gate. To cheer him up and to make him busy so he could not ask me many questions, I asked, Hello boss, what is the news?, “ There are two news. One good and one bad” I say tell me the bad news first, “The bad news is that there is no good news” and? I asked. “The good news is that there is no bad news, and you are going home.”

 

4.    My friend was visiting me just before Christmas when he asked my wife what present she was going to give me this Christmas. “A black eye”. I said “Great”.

“Great?” he exclaimed. “Yes” I said “because last year she gave me two.”

    

5.    I suggested to my wife that if she applies soap to all the dirty plates first and then wash them at one go, she can finish 20 min job in 10 and save 10 min. She saved all 20 min and now I do the dishes in 30 min.

 

6.    My wife went to thana and complained that she sent her husband in the morning to get some aloo. He has not come back since and now it is evening. I think he has been abducted. The Thanedar said,” Bibi, why you worry about aloo. You can always cook some thing else, eh?”

 

7.    My wife was reading aloud some report from a magazine. “They found that man only uses maximum of one quarter of his brain”. I said, “Do you mean I never use the other two quarters?”

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6 Comments

Posted by on November 2, 2011 in Jokes

 

6 responses to “DIRTY PLATES AND GOLF BALLS

  1. salim598786

    November 2, 2011 at 3:09 pm

    Repeat the ……………………..

     
  2. shakilakhtar

    November 2, 2011 at 5:30 pm

    only one, that of my wife washing plates, has been repeated here sir.Urdu version) others might have appeared on fb. these might have been known to you from there. Sorry if you found these annoying or something.

     
  3. Rafiullah Mian

    November 2, 2011 at 7:39 pm

    Nice jokes. I always enjoy good jokes even they are repeated……

     
    • shakilakhtar

      November 2, 2011 at 9:17 pm

      sukria bhai sahab. keep smiling.
      once a CEO told jokes to his staff, repeated as always, but every one was laughing loudly. Every one except one girl. When he remarked if she has any sense of humour, she said that she doesn’t have to laugh. she is leaving on Friday.
      Now my friend Salim is not leaving me still he ………….

       
  4. Rafiullah Mian

    November 2, 2011 at 10:00 pm

    hahaha…
    Know you have an evidence that I am with you!

     
    • shakilakhtar

      November 3, 2011 at 4:53 pm

      Thanks dear. I know now I have real Chara saz and gham gusaar which Ghalib longed for but got instead only Naseh.

       

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